The day before, the day before, the first day of school.

To say I've been angsty about Sweet Baby James starting school would be an understatement.  As in put me in the Guinness Book of World Records for understatements.  Sorry to all those close to me in the last few weeks.  I have really tried hard not to melt down or to be negative ... I've saved those ugly cries for my very patient and longsuffering husband.  (Seriously, he's getting into heaven for putting up with me this week, mostly!)

 

There are so many reasons  I have been angsty ...

 

I'm not a fan of all-day kindergarten.  I'm just not -- because FIVE YEAR OLDS should be with their Mamas most of the day.  In New Mexico we have few options, living on a hillside in a remote mountain town, options are even fewer.   Both, Joseph and I, independent of each other were not feeling good about having James in all day school.  Back in the spring when we had our transition meeting with his preschool teachers and his future kindergarten teachers, I was told that half-day kindergarten was illegal.  At the time, I felt that the people that told me this were not being honest with me, but I had no idea of who to ask, or where to follow up on that.    Needless to say, I was not endeared to them at all.  (That said, I really hope that this can and will change).

 

Then there was the useless kindergarten orientation.  I had no idea of what to ask back in April.  Now I do, but these questions are so specific, no one can tell me.    My questions center around James' food allergy and the procedures they have in place to keep him safe.  It didn't make me feel very good either, when I had to sign a paper indemnifying the school if they mess up.  Well that's JUST GREAT!  Of course, those kinds of things are highly suspect, and usually tossed out if litigation is necessary, but still.  That really makes me not trust anyone with my son's life.  In fact, when Joseph was speaking with the principal, and she asked us why we wanted James in half-day kinder he just told her, "We don't trust you people with our son's life."  He said she was stunned at that, but it's the truth. 

 

This ties into the fact that here, you do not find out the class assignment till the evening before.  Yep, that's right.  I have no idea who we're going to be with till tomorrow at 4pm.  They say they do this so that parents won't have time to complain about the assignment.  I get that, and sadly, that says more about the parents than it does about the school. I remember being given my class assignment for the next school year on the last day of school.   We knew all summer who our teacher would be -- for better or worse, and we just dealt with it and lived to tell the tale.  So because entitled, helicopter parents, can't handle the truth, those of us with actual concerns don't have time to meet with the teacher in a meaningful way before the start of school.  I'm 347% positive that if I had known a week ago who James' teacher was, I would not be having a panic attack every other second this week.  It just would have been nice, is all, to know.  GI Joe taught us "knowing is half the battle."  You have no idea, GI Joe, no idea.

 

 

But here is the kicker ... you all know me.  There is little that scares me in this world, and I usually have no problem just saying what needs to be said.  But with my concerns I have been paralyzed.  As in physically unable to even open my mouth to advocate for my child.  I hate this.  I hate this so much.  When I finally told Joseph this, he didn't even hesitate.  The next morning he was on the phone with the school making inquires. 

 

 

And the verdict is ... James can be in half-day kindergarten.  This will work well, and we will transition him to full day kinder after he turns 6, in November.  I had a nice visit with the school nurse today.  She is highly qualified and asked me all the right questions.  Joseph also gave me a blessing the other night, which gave me some good insight and good direction.  It's all about faith, it always has been, and always will be.  Faith in the Lord that he knows me, and my son, who is also His son, and that our prayers are being heard and a way is being provided for us to make it thru this school year.  I think this will be more of a walk with God than ever before.

 

 

If I don't pop, I'll be back tomorrow to tell you all some more stuff that's been shuffling around in my brain.

Last Day of School

WHEW!  Today was a day.  Bittersweet is the only way to describe it.

Sweet Baby James, who is not really a baby anymore, finished pre-school today.   

Just  few thoughts from a mother's heart....

Last year, a good friend, whose opinion I trust, suggested that we get James tested for "stuff".  She noticed in him some of the things her own son struggles with.  So we did.  It was a process and at the end of the school year I did not know if he had "passed" and been accepted into the special needs preschool that our school district offers.  It was a long wait over the summer, and we didn't know if he was in or not, until a few days into the school year.

But he did get in and I am so very thankful for that. More than I can say really.  Over the course of the year James' teachers have worked with him, taught him, and helped him improve in ways that I could not.  They have taught me, as well as being kind and mindful of our family's needs.  James has made so much progress with his speech and motor development this year, as well as grown into a very sweet and loving boy.

I feel blessed to have had good friends along the way, as well, who also had children in the preschool.  My friend Neighbor Julia and I have carpooled all year, which has allowed all of our toddler babies to get a nap in the afternoons.  And I'm thankful to my friends Jenny and Evelena, whose children James has become good friends with, and who have offered many times to have James over to play and have offered to baby sit swap with me for various things.

So, on to summer and preparing for Kindergarten.  I'm still not too jazzed about all day Kindergarten, but I knew all day school would happen eventually.    Thanks to all the staff and teachers at school.  We are thankful that you have been part of our lives!

Kindergarten Round-up

So, it's only been a couple of months since I've written in my family blog. Because you know, family.

I'm busy. They're busy, growing stealthy in the night and getting dirty during the day. I'm tired.

This week was Kindergarten Round-up in our town. Or in the plain tongue -- Kindergarten orientation and registration. If you were wondering, yes I was a little verklempt. We live across the street from our elementary school, which I thought was a good thing, until Wednesday. Then it was a bad thing, because it was the longest, short walk I'd ever taken.

We got there and James buried his face into my side, because he was shy. So many kids, so many things to see, so much noise. Then they invited the kids into the other room to play while they talked to the moms and dads. Bla, bla, bla.  I had to drag him crying home.

I'm mixed about sending my kids to public school. It's irony coming from the school teacher, I realize. With Common Core looming on the horizon, I wonder what my child will or will not be learning, and how much time I will have to spend un-learning all of the stupid crap they want to teach him. I am also not sold on the "full day kindergarten" that everyone seems to have been snookered into. I love my child, and I want him to spread his wings, but not too far, right yet. He's only 5 and still my little guy. I still think 5 year olds need to be at home with their mamas most of the day.

I also worry about things. Like will he ever be able to snap his pants after using the restroom? Will he remember to bring his coat home at the end of the day? Will he be able to get the lid off of his lunch box, and so on. There is also the whole issue of his food allergies. Will he stay safe? If he were to have an exposure, would he know how to advocate for himself, would there be time for him to speak up before his airway closed off? Would anyone else notice if he was in anaphylaxis? How will he learn to stand up for himself when kids make fun of his lisp and speech? And for myself, how will I be able to look out my front window and see the kids playing at recess and not want to just run over and watch him play? Or run over and scoop him up to home.

These are the things I think about lately. It's hard. I know we are supposed to do hard things, but this...is one of the hardest by far...because part of me will always think of him as this little guy...

 

School Days

James with the letters he made with colored pencils

This is my Sweet Baby James.    You all know, I loved him the instant the placed him on my chest when he was born, just like we'd always been friends, because I think we have been friends that long.  He is fun, kind, loving, cheerful, observant, insightful, curious, funny, artistic, creative, good with his hands and always interested to learn new things.



Happy James with his babies
 

James took a little longer to talk and had some major issues with ear infections when he was a baby.  I think those ear infection issues affected his speech and how he learns.  A few months ago a very good and dear friend approached me and suggested that I have James tested for learning and developmental delays.  I trust her and value her opinion, and I knew she was right,  so we began this process of testing and diagnoses.  The ladies that we worked with were nice and kind and very thorough.  Come to find out he is on track with his development, but his speech needs help -- a lot of help.  He also failed the physical therapy portion of the tests -- tell me what that's about?  Anyway.    He is at the point where he needs more help than I can give him on my own.  I'm a high school teacher, I have no idea of where to even start with small frys such as him.

Cracking up!  (Seriously, this picture makes me laugh so hard!)

Today I finally found out that he is eligible to go the special needs preschool we have here in our town.  But I had been working myself up into a fit about it...as in tighter than a double granny-knot, in the rain tight.   Next week we have his first IEP and meeting with school nurse for his peanut and tree nut allergy issues and he can start school the next day.  He's pretty excited to go to school and I am excited, but scared to death, to send him.  

School is sure different on the other side of the table...so here we go. The Atomic Family is now a school family!