Hillbilly twins

Back in my BYU days, when I actually dressed up for Halloween, one year, my roommate Angie #1 and I went as Hillbilly twins. Observe:

Angie will totally kill me for posting this, she hates this picture

I remember this Halloween well. Our other two roommates had boyfriends, so they were uninterested in dressing up. We went to a dance at the Wilk. While there we ran into a guy I was in several classes with. His name was Tom and he was SUPER cool. Or at least he thought so. He was there all alone and kind of latched on to us. I just thought it was really funny because the next week he went back to ignoring me. And you thought that kind of junk ended in high school!

There and Back Again: Survivng Utah...Again!

And you thought I was home all this time posting on this blog and doing my thing. WRONG! We were in Utah, for my niece's wedding that didn't happen. Which is ok, because in the end it's better to not marry the wrong person. I happen to be an expert in dating the wrong guy and then marrying the right guy. Seriously, I need to write a book, or get a show. Maybe Oprah has room for me on her new TV network. I'll call my show or my book The Spinster's Corner: How Not to End Up Miserable

Random cute picture that has nothing to do with this post, other than it's James and his cousin Nephi in a very cute moment.


But now on to serious things....Ok, Utah, it's time for us to have a talk again. On my last visit I noticed some things. On this visit, I noticed some more things...

First, you are still talking on your cell phones waaaaay too much. Especially when you drive. And let's talk about your driving habits: FAIL! Not even kidding. To quote Joseph, "I'm going to drive in the far right lane on the freeway. I'd like to have only one side of the doors ripped off the car." Seriously people, New York City, in the rain, at rush hour is better than the I-15 at any time of the day. And I say that, having driven both. Oh and another thing in regards to driving. It's best not to flip the bird while in your suit and tie, on your way to church on Sunday morning. I'm just sayin!

Second, BYU Students. I realize Summer term is the best term on campus. Quiet, not-very-big crowds, no lines in the Cougar Cheat Eat. I totally get it, as I once was where you are now. I cherished my summers at BYU. But, I could do without the dirty looks when our family, moving en masse, is on campus. Let's have some perspective -- we were not nearly as annoying as the EFY groups or the Freshmen Y groups. We were almost reverent when compared to those groups.

James and the Barker girls reverently walking thru campus. Examples all!! haha!


Third -- Dear Monte L Bean Life Science Museum: Your taxidermied birds totally freaked me out. Not only were most of them not perched (they were just on their backs, all dead and gone) the lack of eyes was FREAKY! I'm not kidding. All of the birds just had cotton in the eye sockets. It was like revenge of the zombie birds. And let's just say dead fish in jars --- eeeewww! However the crocodile skin was cool.

Fourth -- I am not in love with your mosquitoes, Utah. However, hand sanitizer is great at getting the bites from said mosquitoes to not itch.

Ok, lest you think I've changed my name to Wendy Whiner, I have not. There were some good things to be found in the Beehive State.

One -- An excellent haircut for not a lot of money. Seriously people, I do not know what is wrong with the Frissures in New Mexico, but they are a tragic lot. Fantastic Sams, 45 mins, a 20 year old hair prodigy and $21 later...I have a good hair cut. Now if I could just preserve this moment forever.

Two -- IKEA. Even though the IKEA in Draper is totally picked over and crazyland, it was good. I got some nice new dish towels, a funky-frog-catch-the-food-because-your-child-likes-to-feed-himself-bib thingy, some other dishes for James and a nice big cup of Lingnonberry punch!! Mama LURVES her some Lingnonberry punch!

Frog-bib-thingy with accompanying dishes


New dish towels. I think I am in love with this color scheme. Now to convince Joseph the house needs to be painted this way...not really, the thought of painting makes me cry


Smaska dishes


Three -- and probably, the most important...we got to see the Barkers. We have not seen their family in six years. They all grew up! Laura and Renae totally swooped in, and with the help of Marian took Baby James from me all day. It was weird and nice all at the same time. Believe me, if the scientists at the Lab would get on it, and get that Star Trek transporter made, I'd totally hire them as my babysitters. I love those kids though, LOVE them! It was hard to say good-bye.

Playing with cousins at the park


Joseph and his sister Alisa


Finally, it's good to be home. We drove and drove and drove and drove -- all over Disneyland (no Howard we did not go to Disneyland for reals). James was good though, very good, for one so young and full of pip and vinegar as he is.

So now we're home -- the house didn't burn down (seriously fire burning right up the road today and it's very smelly), the car seat needs to be cleaned out and I am more tired that I need to be. I'm not sure where to start on all that which needs to be done. We've been off our schedule for about 3 weeks now. So, if anyone can come over and boss me around that would be great.

PS Here are so more picutres of the family over at Melissa's blog

More on Sis Beck's talk:

To go into a bit more detail about what Sister Beck said about priorities:

"When we misprioritize we loose opportunities". When she said that I had to ask myself where my priorities were and are. They are woefully outta whack. I knew the things I needed to do and have already started working on some of them this week. It's a hard change, but it's working.

So what should our priorities be? She suggested three categories:

ESSENTIAL
NECESSARY
NICE TO DO

Things that are ESSENTIAL

Are the things that come by revelation. Are we making our selves open to revelation? Are we reading the scriptures? Are we keeping our covenants the best we can? Are we expressing our testimony? Are we making our prayers meaningful and good? Are we serving?

I think these are the things that can fill us up with the right things and make us better women. I know people are always going on and on about how as women we have to replenish and fill ourselves and I agree. However, a trip to the spa has never been that for me. And let's face it, the Holy Ghost is going to stay with you longer than that pedicure...

Things that are NECESSARY:

What is necessary to create a good home? Homemaking in the process of making a home. Like I said yesterday, it's not just chores and such, but it's making our houses, homes and nice places to be -- refuges from the world. Our homes should be a place where the holy spirit is present and should be modeled after the temple (A house of order, a house of learning, a house of God). We are to teach children to walk uprightly before the Lord, and lay aside the things of the world. She also mentioned, and this was mentioned many times over the course of the conference, that we need to be a self-reliant people. So, are we going into debt for things we should be saving for? Are we giving away our agency to debt? When we are self reliant we are better able to serve. Finally, are we loving one another?

Things that are NICE TO DO

These are things like hobbies, recreation and so on. She said, they won't save us, but add light and variety to our lives.

With that said, I just felt like my 'nice to do' was taking the place of my 'essential' and 'necessary'. I'm making some changes.

Lioness at the gate

In more digestion from my trip to Women's Conf I'd like to share some of the great things I learned. Elder Samuelson, who is the current president of BYU gave some short opening remarks. He told us he hoped that we'd all find "hope, encouragement and answers", which I did. I suppose that's why I felt like I really needed to be at this year's Conference.

Sister Julie Beck, the General RS President gave the opening talk in the Thurs AM session. Sister Beck is so amazing. It really makes me sad that so many women find offense in her words. To them I say, get on your knees and pray to have your hearts softened, she is called of God and is speaking his words. If you sustain her with your hand, sustain her with your heart as well.

Some of the things that impressed me:

1--Choose this day to serve the Lord, to build the kingdom of God, to have a vision of what the House of Israel can become. (Which was the theme of the Conference see Moses 6: 33-34)
2--Taking care of our posterity must take precedence over all other things.
3--An example to follow is Rebekah from the Old Testament. She brought forth the House of Israel. She understood the power of the priesthood and personal revelation. She was pivotal in her family. We must be pivotal in ours.
4--The Priesthood makes everything happen, and all the blessings of the Priesthood are available to us.
5--The ability to receive and act on personal revelation is the most powerful tool we have as mothers and women.
6--We walk with the Lord thru more faith and personal righteousness.
7--Women are like lionesses at the gates of their homes. Things matter in the home when they matter to Mom.
8--Our priorities need to be: ESSENTIAL, NECESSARY, NICE TO DO. When we misprioritize we lose opportunities.
9--Single sisters are some of the most powerful women to lift up the hands that hang down and strengthen the weak knees. (And the fact that I have so many single friends: Jen, Anna, Heidi, Monica, Janey...you guys are all amazing women).
10--If we choose to serve the Lord, His spirit will be with us.

Finally, and this is sort of the overall insight I got and she mentioned this, that we need to MAKE HOMES, and HOMEMAKING is important, but homemaking is not just doing chores and cooking meals. Those things are important, but when we make a home, we make our home a refuge from the world, a safe place to be, a place of learning, a place where the Lord's spirit can thrive and teach.

That's what I want to do Make my home a safe place for anyone who wants to be here, and it's my job at the mom to make this happen.

Alone but not really.

I went to Women's Conference by myself. I didn't meet anyone there, I wasn't planning on meeting anyone, I just was there. It shocked a lot of people I talked too. Apparently, as grown women we still need to travel in packs, not to the restroom anymore, but to places. It's funny really.

At the Thursday night service activities I sat at a table with a mother and her three grown daughters. They just could not get over that I'd come by myself. I did. It's totally possible to go somewhere on your own.

However, I did run into some people I knew anyway.



This is my friend JoDee Schramm. She was in the Atomic City ward for a while. I felt really bad because she and her family moved away right after I'd had James, and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Last year she was in a very serious car accident and was very badly injured. I was waiting in line to get into the Wilk Ballroom when she spotted me. I was so happy to see her, I even got a little weepy. It was just so good to see her up and around and healthy. So I cut her into the line with me and we sat next to each other during the class.

The Conference staff reminded us in every session that we were not supposed to cut people into the lines, but I figured since I was not leaving any session early, and I actually turned my cell phone off I could cut my friend into the line. We all got in too.

Later on in the day I was winding my way up to the Harmon Conf Ctr, which is way up by the MTC, on the upper, upper part of campus, when I ran into:



That's right people, Deann Jensen from high school. If you remember Deann was voted "Most likely to become a Mary Kay Lady" our senior year. That's because Deann always had 21 lipsticks in her purse, in addition to a package of ramen noodles -- just in case she got hungry. I love Deann though. We were in choir all those years ago at the Toro High School. I actually stopped and talked with her, then had lunch with her. I also ran into her the next day at the Marriott Center, which was where this photo was taken.

I was also blessed to stay with my former MTC mailroom boss Heidi Van Woerkom:



At her TOTALLY CUTE house in Provo:



I stayed in the basement, which was just like Grandma Gold's basement. If you remember Gold Grandchildren how fun Grandma's basement was. I felt at home, I felt comfortable and I love Heidi. Heidi also has a cute doglett named Rosie, who I forgot to take a picture of. Anyway, Rosie was very curious about me. She sniffed me and my stuff and then decided I was ok. Thank you Rosie.

I was also very fortunate to not have to rent a car while in the Lovely Deseret. I just rode the bus all over Provo, just like I did when I was at school. My friend Jen Ed picked me up from the airport, and then took me back on Saturday:



Friday after the conference ended Jen picked me up from Heidi's house and we went back to her house in SLC. There was a slight snag though. The traffic going north on the I-15 was going at less than a snail's pace. We got off in American Fark (you just have to say that with proper Utah County inflection hahah!) to try and eat. Every place we stopped had a line out the door. Ug! What where we to do? Get back on the freeway and try to get back to SLC. Thankfully Jen had eclairs from Kneaders in the back seat. We ate them and survived. I know, I know, it was a harrowing journey. Later that night we sat in her sweetly decked out basement and she caught me up on Glee and Community episodes. I would also like to say here, that I am the only one of her friends that caught a Fresh Prince reference in an episode of Parks & Recreation. I am just that awesome!!

The other thing I noticed was that I brought all of my red clothes. It was not on purpous, it just ended up that way. It was cold, apparently all of my warm clothes for cold weather are red.

Saturday we went to an exhibit at the SLC Library on Ann Frank. It was good but sad -- the Holocaust always makes me sad. However, I met a nice Croatian lady in the Library cafe. I needed a snack, and she had homemade spanikopita, which we also have in Bulgaria, it's just called spinaki. It was so GOOD! I cannot even say how good it was. Holy cow, I want to marry that spanikopita it was so good.

Jen put me on the plane and I came home. The flight home was very rough, and needless to say I was griping a barf bag as if my life depended on it, because it kind of did. I'm sorry if I scared any of my fellow passengers. I just do not do air sick very well. I just don't.

So, even though I went by my self to this conference, I was not alone, and it was great that way!

Thoughts on Utah

I'm back from Women's Conference. I think I need a vacation....(take a vacation from your problems Bob). Seriously, you get really tired running all over BYU in half hour sprints. I'm in shape even, I can't imagine how you do it when you're not in shape.

I would also like to make note, and let it be recorded in the annals of amazing physical feats I walked up the RB stairs TWICE on Thursday and have lived to tell the tale. For those of you not familiar with the RB stairs, they take you from the Richards Building, on the lower campus to the upper campus at BYU. They are so tall and numerous that you cannot see the top of the stairs from the bottom of the stairs. Sadly I do not have a picture and the google is failing on providing one. However, they're a lot of stairs and I climbed them twice. You should give me a gold star. I did give myself a gold star in the form of a BYU brownie, which was really a blondie, but who cares about that kind of detail. It was good and desserty.

But there are things about Utah that indeed make it a peculiar place, yea, indeed a weird place.

For example, in Harmon's, a totally AWESOME grocery store that I want to move into, they sell superpails of wheat. Yes, you can just go on down to the Piggly-Wiggly for year supply wheat.

They also sell ties in Harmon's. We must be in Utah.

My second observation has to do with stuff. There is a lot of stuff in Utah. Like, places to go and spend your money and get more stuff. Every corner has stuff. In fact most of the farms along the I-15 in Utah County are now filled with places to sell you stuff. Stuff to wear, stuff to read, stuff to listen to, stuff to eat, stuff to drive in, stuff to dig up your yard with. Having grown up in Mesa, I know I shouldn't be overwhelmed by the stuff and the places to buy stuff, but having lived a million miles from nowhere for these last 7 years I have forgotten what the places that have stuff are like. I literally cannot make a choice when confronted with so much stuff. I think I felt like this when I came home from Bulgaria. There wasn't a lot of stuff there either.

A third observation and this ties in with my assessment of running around BYU in half hour spirits. What is the deal with all of the high heeled shoes and flip flops? Seriously? How can you walk all day in either of those types of shoes and not want to saw your legs off at the knee by the end of the day?? Not to mention the fact that it was raining and snowing and rather cold the two days of the conference. Were their piggies not cold? I'm just sayin'....the six inch red, patent leather heals would so not have worked for me. I'll just take my matronly loafers from the Penny, thankyouverymuch.

The third-and-a-half observation in Utah is this. What is with all of the big silk flower head bands women? That is just not a style I think I could latch onto. It makes me think of those brain squeezers people put on baby girls. Just not my thing.

As for the food at BYU. Of course the Cougar Cheat...ergh I mean Eat did not fail to provide tasty yummies when I needed to eat. See also desserty goodness. And I did discover that Jamba Juice sells oatmeal in the mornings. I discovered this the second morning and had a nice hot bowl of oatmeal with dried cherries, blueberries, sugar pecans and brown sugar. Made me happy, that's all I can say.

But then there was the Marriott Center where I was very disappointed to find that they were charging THREE, yes that would be THREE dollars for a soda. No thanks. It doesn't even have caffeine it it!!

Fourth, there are some technologies that I get and embrace and love and there are others that I just do not get and embrace and love. The cell phone is just not my thing. I have a cell phone. In fact I've had a cell phone almost non-stop since 1997, when I was a student at BYU. However, I just use it to make the occasional phone call and if I am in a jam. My phone does not take pictures, I barely can text and I have no idea of most of the stuff the phone can do. I have no desire to have more than the $20 prepaid one I have ever!

Not so much for most people at the Conference. I never saw so many people on so many phones, talking about so little, for so long in my life. It was kind of annoying and sad to be honest. In fact they remind you before each class starts to turn off your phone. And still phones rang. My last class in fact had someones phone going off about every 5 minutes. She didn't feel the need to turn it off apparently. I kind of wanted to bop her on the head with my notebook. Then there was the lady in front of me, who sat thru Elder Oaks' talk on Friday afternoon and texted the whole time. What could have possibly been more important than listening to an Apostle of the Lord? What?

Get off your phones Utah.

Finally, lest you think I sat and nit-picked the whole time, I did not. BYU is breathtakingly beautiful this time of year, even with snow on the ground every morning. I'm just glad I got to go and be there again this year. It was what I needed. I learned a lot, and feel full again....

Now, I'm going to take a nap.